What makes a man sexy?

"What's the first thing you notice about a man?" I was once asked. I was about to give a quick answer, but then I realized I had something to say. Journalist Erica Jagger reflects on male attractiveness.

Really, what do I notice first? What attracts me? Eye color? Hair? Smile? Shoulder width? None of these answers apply.

I'm more drawn to men who exude confident sexuality. But what helps a man to be in the aura of this very confident sexuality?

I started remembering men who made my knees tremble. One of them wore a simple T-shirt that hugged his body so intriguingly that all I could think about was his torso. And yet, more often than not, I remember something completely different. His character, his demeanor… That’s why I always wanted to sweep all the plates and glasses onto the floor, lie down on the table, and pull him towards me. Sounds strong? So I decided to make a list of qualities for which I’m willing to do all this.

1. Strength

I'm not talking about the number of push-ups he can do in two sets. Although, of course, muscles and a firm abs have never hurt anyone. I'm talking about inner strength, an invisible steel core. In the eyes of such a man you can read: "I know who I am and what I want from life." The sexiest man is the one who is confident in himself, soberly assesses his strengths and capabilities, who achieves what he wants. He does not give in to childish whims and does not allow weakness of character. I want to be behind such a man, as they say, "like behind a stone wall."

2. Vulnerability

If a man does not show vulnerability, he cannot be strong. This means that he is not embarrassed to tell a woman about his desires, fears, his feelings for her. He is not afraid to admit his guilt, ask for forgiveness and be proven wrong. Without absolute sincerity (on both sides!) it is impossible to achieve intimacy. And it is this intimacy that will turn ordinary sex into lovemaking.

3. Integrity

It is this factor that distinguishes a boy from a man. And although narcissists, Casanovas and "bad guys" are charming at first, it gradually becomes clear that all this is nothing more than a mask, and their entire image is an inflated soap bubble. And they play all their games for the sake of raising their own self-esteem. There is nothing sexy in a man who pretends to be someone else, who does not feel, but only pretends to feel, and who pretends that he does not care at all about the experiences of his woman. In short, if I had to choose between Don Draper from the TV series "Mad Men" and Atticus Finch from "To Kill a Mockingbird", then I will give my preference to the hero of Harper Lee.

4. Intelligence

The brain, for all its external unattractiveness, is the sexiest "component". And I'm not talking about IQ - these are just dry numbers. I mean an insatiable thirst for knowledge, a desire to discover something new, to create and not to get hung up on one thing. I'm talking about a man who knows and can do more than me. With whom it is interesting to talk, argue, listen to his opinion. Seriously, I don't care about his height and hair color - if he charms me with his intellect, then desire will not keep me waiting.

5. Sense of humor

A man without a sense of humor is like the hot water in the shower suddenly running out. I can't imagine communicating with a very serious man who takes everything literally and rarely laughs. Personally, I believe that intelligence and a sense of humor are closely connected to each other. An intelligent person understands hints and knows how to find the bright, or rather, funny side even in the most hopeless situation. But here it is also important to match the sense of humor with the prospective partner. If his jokes don't make me laugh, and he doesn't make me laugh with mine, then no amount of love will be able to keep us together.

6. Warmth

It's exhausting trying to reach out to someone who is closed in on themselves and won't let anyone come closer than a meter. Compassion, empathy, a smile and the opportunity to laugh at problems together - all this opens up feelings. Believe me, kindness is very sexy.

7. Generosity

There is nothing more asexual than stinginess. Moreover, a stingy person can be stingy not only with money, but also with feelings. And although the irrepressible distribution of funds (and emotions) indicates a lack of self-control and low self-esteem, counting every penny and saving feelings demonstrate that a person does not value his partner at all. From my own experience, I am convinced that stingy men are also stingy with caresses in bed. In short, a generous partner will not only not spare money for a beautiful bouquet just like that, but will also give you all of himself in bed.

8. Tenderness

It's any kind of warmth. It's a light kiss on the neck when I'm washing the dishes and he walks by. It's when he strokes my knee under the table or encourages me when we're talking to his friends at dinner. It's when he rests his head on my chest just because it makes him feel more comfortable sitting next to me and watching a movie. A man who likes touch for its own sake, not for the sake of sex - that's sexy.

9. Mindfulness

Not long ago, I liked ambitious men, but that passed. Over time, I realized that many ambitions cannot be called real. Most often, they are born of self-doubt, greed and aggression, which, you must admit, do not excite at all. Mindfulness is the ability to be attentive during the most difficult and painful life situations. When a man remains calm in the face of all the adversity that fate has prepared for him, when no failure can knock him off his intended path - that's when my knees buckle.

10. Partnership

The only place I want to be submissive is in the bedroom. And then only if I want to. Otherwise, I want a man who won't try to boss me around, who understands the importance of compromise, mutual understanding, and respect. I don't have the time to waste on a man who wants to dominate just to feel macho.

11. Confidence in bed

True confidence has nothing to do with the size of his penis, the virtuosity of his positions, or the length of sex. It's the overall atmosphere in the bedroom that he creates. It's not dominance, but authority. His desire to understand my body language, to notice the slightest changes in my breathing, to look me in the eyes at the right moment. With him, I'm not afraid to be open, vulnerable, because I feel incredibly desirable. My heart skips a beat when I see a man who knows not only what he wants in bed, but also what I want.

Most of these points did not occur to me when I was twenty. Then I liked rich businessmen with cool sports cars, with expensive restaurants and gifts. But over the years I realized that all this is short-lived and superficial - the money runs out, and the person changes.

Source:http://www.psychologies.ru/sexuality/male%20sexuality/chto-delaet-mujchinu-seksualnyim/