Every child comes at his own time!

Boy or girl, bully or quiet - this is exactly what you need right now.

Accept your children's lessons with love and gratitude!

Every child has his own purpose and his own mission!

The famous teacher and scientist Shalva Amonashvili, the author of an entire direction in science - humane pedagogy, professor of the Moscow City Pedagogical University held an author's seminar for teachers in Vladivostok.

In the hall of the Nevelskoy Moscow State University, the conversation was not about the "educational process", but about things much more important. Amonashvili put the questions like this: Who is a child? And who are we, adults? Do we have a philosophy of looking at a child? How should we live and communicate with him? What is the purpose of a teacher?

From Amonashvili's lecture:

“We do not know for sure whether the higher world really exists, but we can accept this as an assumption. You can call it as you like - the world of God, the absolute or the higher mind. The second assumption: the human soul is some eternal, indestructible substance, it strives for eternal perfection, it has no other tasks, and only we ourselves can either perfect or destroy our soul. And the third assumption: our earthly life is only a short segment of the soul's path, we are all travelers in the Universe. Yes, none of these assumptions can be proven, we can only believe in this. But these are the ideas that underlie religions, world classical literature. And the basis of humane pedagogy. And if all these assumptions are simply accepted as a basis, then a philosophical view of the child appears.

Who is he, the child? No, he is not an accident or a whim of parents, but a phenomenon of our life. Children come into this world with their mission, purpose, each person changes the face of the world a little. As Christ, Pushkin or Einstein changed it. Someone will say: of course, they were geniuses. But the "little man" Arina Rodionovna also had her own mission.

People are born for each other, we help each other to rise.

And if the teacher treats the child from such a position, then it is unlikely that the class will hear a shout, irritation, anger: "Everyone shut up right now! Quickly open your notebooks! And don't come home without your mother tomorrow!" Because the teacher's task is not to give a paragraph, and not even just knowledge - this is not so difficult, but to help the child find his purpose, his path. How, with what method, instrument? And this is where the teacher's creativity begins."

I will say the main thing: if parents want to improve the educational system in the family, first of all they should refuse any punishment of the child. Any punishment!

You may ask: what if the child is harmful, does something bad, what to do? There are different approaches, but they all require a lot of effort from the parents. If you have a child, then please, please - give time to the child! Raise him not anyhow, but constantly. Because if anyhow - then you can't do without punishment, because you don't have time to calm him down, so you need to spank him well, yell, forbid, take away, scold. But if I give most of my soul to raising a child - such methods are unlikely to be needed.

This does not mean that I will not demand anything from the children, it is just that the conversation will be different. The child did something bad, I set a condition for him: let's not have this in our lives. And I persuade him.

But as soon as he begins to understand and do good, I will encourage him a hundredfold, so that he strengthens this aspiration. Or even tries to do good, I will exaggerate, praise, admire: see, son, you are becoming a man! And so constantly. Praise children! We must elevate the child in his own eyes.

— All the same, a child doesn’t grow up without “tricks”...

— Of course, including because he has a “passion for growing up” — a very powerful natural feeling, for which he will do anything. And then suddenly the son starts smoking — that’s how he understands growing up, especially if his dad smokes. What should I do? Forbid him, yell at him? But he will steal cigarettes, money… After all, he is growing up, everyone smokes, and he should smoke.

It is important for a child to grow up in communication with adults, and if there is a quarrel, conflict, deafness arises, which happens in many families: shouting, the father chasing his son... It turns out that the father is not fit for growing up and communication, does not accept his son, and then the teenager finds a company where he is accepted.

It is better for a father to raise his son as a brother, to tell him: “My son, you are already growing up… See, here is my last cigarette, and you will not see me smoking anymore.” If a father does this, he loves his child, if he does not, he loves himself.

If a child does something bad, you shouldn't punish them, you should cry! With tears in your eyes, tell them how much they are suffering - mom or dad. A mother's tears are a thousand times more powerful than a mother's hands when she beats her child. She beats, supposedly to call for better things, out of love, you see, she beats... But a child will never accept such love! Violence does not educate a child, but stops their development. It takes away their spiritual support. And then we, the parents, will be horrified ourselves...

- How can I persuade him to read?

— Does dad read at home? A child should see people around him reading, who love and cherish books. And as soon as dad has a couple of minutes, he doesn’t drink beer or watch TV, but takes a wise book, sits down and reads. And mom reads too.

Would it be bad if before bedtime, mom, dad, grandma or grandpa sit down with a child, even an adult, and read some pages: son, listen, please! Something from the Bible, or fairy tales, stories, and let him fall asleep, and you continue reading - another 10-15 minutes...

The child absorbs it. If you have a reading environment and reading people in your family, it is impossible for the child not to love reading. But you see, all this is a difficult path for parents. It is not for nothing that we say: children are our joy, our tears…

Source:http://uduba.com/2475699/kajdyiy-rebenok-prihodit-v-svoyo-vremya