13 Things to Remember When Life Hits You in the Head

1. What is, is
A famous saying of Buddha is: “Your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is.” Think about that for a minute. It means that suffering is only possible when we refuse to accept what is happening. If you can change something, take action. But if change is impossible, then you have two options: accept the situation and let go of the negativity, or suffer for a long time, passionately and enthusiastically.

2. A problem only becomes a problem when you call it one.
We often become our own worst enemies. Happiness really is a matter of perspective. If you see something as a problem, your emotions and thoughts will be filled with negativity. Think about what lessons you can learn from the situation, and suddenly it won't be a problem anymore.

3. If you want to change things, start by changing yourself.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. You probably know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful. And isn’t it because they themselves are in a completely random order? We like to think that changing circumstances change us. In fact, it works in the opposite direction: we must change ourselves in order to change circumstances.

4. There is no such thing as failure, only an opportunity to learn something.
You should simply eliminate the word “failure” from your vocabulary. All great people failed over and over again before they succeeded. I think it was Thomas Edison who said, “I didn’t fail to invent the light bulb. I just found 99 ways it wouldn’t work.” Learn something from your so-called failures. Learn how to do it better next time.

5. If you don't get what you want, something better is on the way.
I know, sometimes it's hard to believe. But it's true. Usually, when you look back on your life, you realize that good things happened after things didn't work out. Maybe the job you weren't hired for would have kept you away from your family, unlike the one you got. Just trust that everything is happening the way it's supposed to.

6. Appreciate the present moment
It will never come again. There is something precious in every moment of life, don't let it pass you by. Soon everything will become a memory. Maybe one day you will miss even those moments that don't seem happy now.

7. Let go of desires
Most people live with a “tied mind.” This means they attach great importance to their desires, and if they don’t get what they want, their emotions become negative. Instead, try practicing a “detached mind”: if you want something, you’ll still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions in this state remain neutral or positive.

8. Understand your fears and be grateful for them
Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fear often brings you closer to victory. For example, when I was in college, I was afraid of public speaking. So now I find it funny that not only do I speak in front of a group of people every day as a teacher, but I also teach the art of public speaking. Overcoming fear just takes practice. Fear is just an illusion.

9. Allow yourself to experience joy
Believe it or not, I know too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. They don’t even know how to be happy. Some are so addicted to their problems and inner chaos that they have no idea who they are without it. So try to allow yourself to be happy. Even if it’s a small moment, it’s important to focus on the joys, not the difficulties.

10. Don't compare yourself to others
But if you do compare, only compare to those who are worse off than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you are at least receiving unemployment benefits. Most people in the world live in extreme poverty. Not like Angelina Jolie? I think very few people are. And you are probably much more attractive than most. Focus on that.

11. You are not a victim
You are a victim only of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one is doing anything for you or against you. You create your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can survive adversity. You just have to start by changing your thoughts and actions. Give up the victim mentality and become a winner.

12. Everything can and will change.
“This too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, it seems like there is no way out. It seems like nothing will ever change. But you know what? Change will happen! Nothing lasts forever, except death. So give up the habit of thinking that everything will stay like this forever. It won’t. But you will have to take some action to change the situation. It won’t magically change itself.

13. Anything is possible
Miracles happen every day. It's true. It's a shame I can't write about all the amazing things that have happened to people I know in one article, from healing stage four cancer to suddenly meeting your soulmate. It happens all the time. You just have to believe that it happens. Once you believe, you can win the battle.